Getting into the true American spirit (Pretending to be Irish) – Road Trip from Richmond to Charlotte via Wake Forest

It's been a week since I last updated the blog, and for that I apologise. It's not that there's been nothing to say, there's been a LOT to say, I just simply haven't had the chance. Therefore, this shall be a very compact, catch-up post to summarise alllll that has happened up until Paddy's day. I think it's also important to inform you that, as a result of one of us dropping out, we decided to cut the trip short due to funds. The new plan is to cut back from Los Angeles to New York somehow (yet to be decided), and probably return home one month earlier. It really does pain me to have to make this decision, but it just seems like the best way to make the most of our time and money.

10/3/13

Anyway! I finished off last week in Clarksburg. We didn't feel fantastic the next morning, so headed further south to melt into the beautiful scenery that the Virginian national parks provided us with. We spent the day at the Skyline Caverns, which were basically some old caves that housed some cool crystals which were unique to the area (it's very hard to make caves sound interesting in prose). 

We spent the evening on the outskirts of Richmond, ending up in a smoky bar called the Rock Fall Tavern. As luck would have it there was an open mic on that night and, almost too stereotypically, we mooched in as a woman performed an acoustic version of Hotel California. The rest of the evening comprised of several other stereotypes performing similarly predictable ditties to lacklustre applause. Anything other than this wonderful cliche-fest would have been a grave disappointment

The mix of people we met that evening was great. We spoke to several of the performers, including a saxophonist, Dave ("Schubert was a pedophile"); vocalist, Soloman (cheers for the pint and the directions); and the Eagles performer Sophia (thanks again for the lift home). One girl also said nothing to us except "Can you stop talking please or I'm going to cum in my pants," and then ran off blushing. On that note, it was around here that suddenly the American people became really compelled by our accents. Just buying something in Walmart, or ordering a drink, makes every American in earshot want to talk to you.

11/3/13

The bus into Richmond the next day was long, but worth it to see the Museum of the Confederacy, and the southern White House (Jeffereson Davis' home during the Civil War). Charles, our tour guide, was one of the most entertaining people around, which is impressive considering the subject content was slavery and war. We got to stand on the exact spot where, on the fall of Richmond to Union forces, President Lincoln announced to several hundred slaves that they had been emancipated. Almost more memorable was that I had my first ever Subway that day that I actually enjoyed (Meatball and Pepperoni sub, for anyone interested).

We drove that evening to a campsite, not a KOA, which was… different. There were people staying there in their RVs who had been living there for ages. One guy we met had been there for 14yrs (which meant, luckily, he had worked out where the toilets were by now). We spent that evening watching Game of Thrones. I had pancakes.

12/3/13

That morning I got to enjoy something I had been looking forward to since I started planning this whole trip: pulling up in the RV; hopping out in trackies; and spending hours monged in a Waffle House, gorging myself on breakfast and unlimited coffee. Again, we couldn't leave without half the restaurant asking us to say something. (Driving into North Carolina from here we also passed the 'Church of Fire' - "If God isn't your bread of life, then you're toast!").

Arriving into Wake Forest, we were met graciously and enthusiastically by the glaring sun. Pulling up outside a bowling alley, we moseyed on into town to see what was going on. It was relatively quiet, but in a quaint, calm way. It was a perfect example of one of the slow-moving, relaxed Southern towns we'd heard so much about. The array of shops was really impressive. We spent most of the day wandering around several antiques shops (For Old Times' Sake was amazing), record stores, craft centres etc. Eventually we came across a large campus for Southeastern Bible University. Obviously looking like outsiders, two guys, Mark and Ching, asked if we fancied a tour. They showed us literally everything, including introducing us to the President of the University, who was clearly quite bemused as to why she was meeting two random English tourists.

Later we ventured into the Bowling Alley, Brook Street Bowl, we'd parked at. Once again the people inside made it very clear why Americans have such a welcoming reputation. Matt, the guy running the place, was a great friend for the evening. He gave us some great ideas on where to go, and he was also a football (soccer) fan, which gives him lots of points. The building was kitted out retro style, with about 20 different old arcade machines (Space Invaders, Ms Pacman…), and a great beer selection (which is uncommon as far as we're concerned). We had several pints that night; Ben won bowling; I still am not used to the word 'tittes' being used in normal conversation.

14/3/13

A whole day spent in the mall sounds expensive, but when you just wander around staring at things, and all you actually buy is a coffee in order to rinse the WIFI, it's actually quite a cheap day out. We hadn't been in a proper American mall yet, fair enough they're just like English ones, but it's the people in them that made the day so enjoyable. Every shop you walk in someone will say 'hello' to you. The Britishness in you knows they're obviously paid to do that, but you can't help but appreciate it. We also made several friends with the guys working there (Hi Nolan, if you're reading. And the weird girl who ran away), and oddly were asked for a photo with a woman in the Army simply because we were twins. Also, we visited a Hot Topic (South Park fans, you won't be let down), and saw a group of Cos-Play kids just 'hangin' out', as you do. A nice guy in one shop also provided us with a fantastic Englishman impression, he lived "just north of London in South D-urrrbyshire", and his favourite cricket team was "Harry Potter". We never got his actual name, but his English persona was William Boyce Irvington, and he was hilarious.

Biggest one in America, apparently

15/3/13

You really come to appreciate unlimited water/ electric supplies when you don't have them. We'd been several days now without them and so thought it was time to live life a bit more luxuriously. Therefore we stayed at another KOA, washed our clothes, chilled out and relaxed (made all the more easier by the sun continuing to grace us with its outgoing presence). All this was necessary to prepare for the following day: St. Patrick's (at least, the day we're celebrating it).

16/3/13

We started out early and drove on into Charlotte looking for a parking lot we could keep the RV in. We found one place, at a shop called Save a Lot, but was advised, if we wanted to come back to a vehicle with wheels, to maybe find another neighbourhood. Which we did; without question; and quickly. We parked up again, dressed up, and got a cab into town. Taxis are horrific in the States, you can ring one and it will turn up unannounced in about an hour and a half, and that's just normal. I won't go too much into what we did because it's a loooooong story, but we spent the day bar crawling, and met a hell of a lot of people (specific shout out to Claire, Alex, Allie, Callie, Jen, Hallie and Morgan). Oh and I apologise to Ben for the 10% IPA, it sounded like a great idea at the time. Anyone who is interested in the messy details, buy me a pint and keep an evening spare.

I don't know who that woman is

17/3/13

The next day wasn't as painful as I was expecting, Ben might disagree. We got breakfast with some friends we made the night before (a Mexican restaurant, to keep it festive…), then went back to the RV to die. That evening I went with our new friends Morgan and Nicole to a bar with their friends and learnt a valuable lesson. If it wasn't for our accent, English people will never manage to get served at a bar. 

So there we have it, a whole week in one blog. I am not gonna be letting this happen again if I can help it. Below, as always, you'll find the video which, I appreciate, is now essentially becoming the Ben Jones Show. He's no good behind the camera, as you may have worked out for yourself (his finger gets more airtime than me).