Banta' in Atlanta, Peaches on the Beaches – Road Trip from Atlanta to Gulf Shores via Daphne

So much has happened since the last blog, and I can't even write about half of it (it'll be the subject of the next blog, for length reasons). Continuing on from the end of the previous post, we set off pretty late in the day on a 4-5 hour non-stop drive to Atlanta. It was a pretty muggy day, and it really didn't provide the most cheerful of surroundings considering where we were going. We stopped off for food halfway somewhere we didn't, and still don't, know the name of. 

The restaurant we chose was a Bojangles, one of the many fast food empires of this specific niche, which served the interesting mix of Chicken and Biscuits. And, despite what your moral compass might be screaming at you, these two components were not served as separate courses. 

The American definition of 'biscuit' does differ from that of the UK, but this doesn't make the situation any better. They are still two entirely juxtaposing entities forced into a culinary marriage of worser pairing than that of Robert Baratheon and Cersei Lannister. Two great bodies combined for the good of the nation and the wealth of the arrangers, but completely regardless of the well-being of the two bodies themselves.

It didn't really matter though, I just ate the chicken then the biscuit on different plates.

We stayed in a Walmart that evening, awoke the next day and worked our way into the centre of Atlanta on the MARTA subway system. The first thing we noticed about Atlanta  (other than that everything there and in Georgia has the word 'peach' in the name) was how pretty and calm it was. Everyone we had spoken to about the city would comment on the traffic and busyness of the city, but it was almost the opposite. There was a lot of activity, of course, but it was not at all overwhelming. Atlanta had the calm atmosphere of a Southern town, but a skyline of New York.

There were two options for the day. The Georgia Aquarium (home to the largest fish tank in the world), or the World of Coca-Cola. Me and Ben were quite torn. But, as much as I love a good fish, I couldn't turn down the opportunity to see the home of one of the most commercially available and successful brands to exist. Also, I had to pay tribute to the creators of the adverts that truly signify the beginning of Christmas (moreover, it was half the price).

We spent several hours in the 'museum', which was pretty interesting. The visit began with a short film about living a healthy lifestyle (or, should I say, how to live a healthy lifestyle while simultaneously drinking Coke).

It housed thousands of Coca-Cola artefacts, made up mostly of promotional items and interactive displays, including a 4D cinema. But the main event, and the only reason we really went, was to get to taste over 75 different Coca-Cola products. You walk into a room that houses hundreds of dispensers on podiums dotted throughout the room, pick up a small plastic cup, and are let loose. 

The dispensers are split into the different continents they're sold in. You can try as much as you like, as often as you like. Ben and I couldn't let ourselves leave without having tasted every single one. After about 25 we were beginning to think that maybe saying we'd tried 25 would be cool enough… but we manned through the next 50.

There were several brands we were more than familiar with (Fanta, Diet Coke, Nestea, Powerade), but we also got to try some really interesting products. Two I will always remember are Vegetabita, from Japan, a vegetable mix which somehow tasted amazing; and Barq's, which tasted like paint.

Halfway through they all started to taste the same. The last one we tried, though, was the best of all, and an amazing relief. If you haven't guessed already, it was Coke. Nothing can beat the taste of Coke. I love Coke.

We exited via the Olympic Park in the Southern sun and headed into the city. We wandered around for a while before starting to feel a bit peckish, and I got to experience my first ever Hooters. It was great. Beer, football, burgers and attractive women who are paid to find me funny. What an end to the day. 

We have since been to another Hooters in Daphne, Alabama, and it really is interesting to see its reputation over here. We were genuinely sat at a table with a man and his wife having a drink on one side of us, and two parents and their 6yr old child sat on the other, having a meal.

20th March, 2013

The next day was spent driving into Alabama, ending up in an area on the suburbs of Montgomery called Prattville, which still makes me chuckle slightly every time I think of it.

The following day was also mainly spent on the road, eventually pulling up at a Walmart in a small town called Daphne. We parked and went straight out to find a Subway and hit a few bars. Like so many towns we've been to, most of the night we were heard answering the question "So you've flown thousands of miles across the ocean, and driven thousands of miles through the US. Why the hell have you come to Daphne?" In truth, we didn't really know. But were really glad we did. 

We went into one bar, Pour Nelsons, which you couldn't really describe as packed, but it had a cool little open mic on. Another bar we went into, Top of the Bay, was nice too. $10-all-you-can-drink is not to be sneered at. 

We said goodbye to Daphne in the morning and headed further south to a KOA in Lillian. It was situated overlooking the beach on the Gulf of Mexico. Everything got recharged, we cleaned the place up and just chilled out after so long living rough. That evening we finished the final episode of Game of Thrones.

23rd March 2013

One of the best accidents we made was turning up in Gulf Shores at the beginning of Spring Break. Gulf Shores, described as the cheap persons Panama Beach, is a beach resort stretching along the southern coast of Alabama into Florida, and it came alive the few days we were there. We lucked out in finding a random car park on the beach opposite a bar called the Hangout, where we ending up spending most of our time. It's not dissimilar to most seaside resorts in its style, appearance or content except that it's just that bit more awesome. We got a couple pints, played some football on the beach, had a wander, then went back to the RV to prepare for the evening. A few cans, a game of beer pong, and some aftershave later we went out exploring a few bars (including one that didn't believe our IDs were real; and a Mexican bar that shared the same equatorial charm as the Kings Head, Stansted). 

The Hangout, however, proved to be the place to be for the time being. They had several live bands on and, quite simply, people were actually in there. It was only when Tabitha, a friend I made in Daphne, joined us later on that it became clear we were not in the right place. (Hi Tabby, btw. The chicken photo is being worked on). Flora Bama, on the other hand, is like the coolest bar ever. About 7 different rooms, all with live music/DJs, and completely without any of the pretentious, hipster undertones that you'd find in this sort of place in the UK. Also, if you ever go there, get a Bushwacker. 

Hangovers averted, we all spent the next day on the beach. Ben apparently a bit more so than me, managing to become so sunburnt he resembled the Turkish state flag. A beer, some BBQ ribs and a mooch about later our friend Morgan, who we met in Charlotte, turned up to join us for the next few days. This evening followed a very similar pattern to the last: chill out, eat, pre-drink, and go to some bars. I wouldn't have asked for it any other way (especially as we got to see two really hot, Southern country girls play a Shania Twain song, ticking another great stereotype off the list).

This week saw us travel through 3 of the Southern-most states, and was probably the best one so far. There really is something about the South that is infectious. However, that said, New Orleans is next on the agenda which could quite easily beat it! Sadly this will be tackled in the next blog, so you aren't gonna get to hear about it now. What you are gonna hear about however is how I was twice ridiculed by an American in a Waffle House for not saying Pecan properly (apparently it's 'picarn', not 'pee-cun'). Write your outrage below, people.

Have a poorly crafted video of the experience:

Getting into the true American spirit (Pretending to be Irish) – Road Trip from Richmond to Charlotte via Wake Forest

It's been a week since I last updated the blog, and for that I apologise. It's not that there's been nothing to say, there's been a LOT to say, I just simply haven't had the chance. Therefore, this shall be a very compact, catch-up post to summarise alllll that has happened up until Paddy's day. I think it's also important to inform you that, as a result of one of us dropping out, we decided to cut the trip short due to funds. The new plan is to cut back from Los Angeles to New York somehow (yet to be decided), and probably return home one month earlier. It really does pain me to have to make this decision, but it just seems like the best way to make the most of our time and money.

10/3/13

Anyway! I finished off last week in Clarksburg. We didn't feel fantastic the next morning, so headed further south to melt into the beautiful scenery that the Virginian national parks provided us with. We spent the day at the Skyline Caverns, which were basically some old caves that housed some cool crystals which were unique to the area (it's very hard to make caves sound interesting in prose). 

We spent the evening on the outskirts of Richmond, ending up in a smoky bar called the Rock Fall Tavern. As luck would have it there was an open mic on that night and, almost too stereotypically, we mooched in as a woman performed an acoustic version of Hotel California. The rest of the evening comprised of several other stereotypes performing similarly predictable ditties to lacklustre applause. Anything other than this wonderful cliche-fest would have been a grave disappointment

The mix of people we met that evening was great. We spoke to several of the performers, including a saxophonist, Dave ("Schubert was a pedophile"); vocalist, Soloman (cheers for the pint and the directions); and the Eagles performer Sophia (thanks again for the lift home). One girl also said nothing to us except "Can you stop talking please or I'm going to cum in my pants," and then ran off blushing. On that note, it was around here that suddenly the American people became really compelled by our accents. Just buying something in Walmart, or ordering a drink, makes every American in earshot want to talk to you.

11/3/13

The bus into Richmond the next day was long, but worth it to see the Museum of the Confederacy, and the southern White House (Jeffereson Davis' home during the Civil War). Charles, our tour guide, was one of the most entertaining people around, which is impressive considering the subject content was slavery and war. We got to stand on the exact spot where, on the fall of Richmond to Union forces, President Lincoln announced to several hundred slaves that they had been emancipated. Almost more memorable was that I had my first ever Subway that day that I actually enjoyed (Meatball and Pepperoni sub, for anyone interested).

We drove that evening to a campsite, not a KOA, which was… different. There were people staying there in their RVs who had been living there for ages. One guy we met had been there for 14yrs (which meant, luckily, he had worked out where the toilets were by now). We spent that evening watching Game of Thrones. I had pancakes.

12/3/13

That morning I got to enjoy something I had been looking forward to since I started planning this whole trip: pulling up in the RV; hopping out in trackies; and spending hours monged in a Waffle House, gorging myself on breakfast and unlimited coffee. Again, we couldn't leave without half the restaurant asking us to say something. (Driving into North Carolina from here we also passed the 'Church of Fire' - "If God isn't your bread of life, then you're toast!").

Arriving into Wake Forest, we were met graciously and enthusiastically by the glaring sun. Pulling up outside a bowling alley, we moseyed on into town to see what was going on. It was relatively quiet, but in a quaint, calm way. It was a perfect example of one of the slow-moving, relaxed Southern towns we'd heard so much about. The array of shops was really impressive. We spent most of the day wandering around several antiques shops (For Old Times' Sake was amazing), record stores, craft centres etc. Eventually we came across a large campus for Southeastern Bible University. Obviously looking like outsiders, two guys, Mark and Ching, asked if we fancied a tour. They showed us literally everything, including introducing us to the President of the University, who was clearly quite bemused as to why she was meeting two random English tourists.

Later we ventured into the Bowling Alley, Brook Street Bowl, we'd parked at. Once again the people inside made it very clear why Americans have such a welcoming reputation. Matt, the guy running the place, was a great friend for the evening. He gave us some great ideas on where to go, and he was also a football (soccer) fan, which gives him lots of points. The building was kitted out retro style, with about 20 different old arcade machines (Space Invaders, Ms Pacman…), and a great beer selection (which is uncommon as far as we're concerned). We had several pints that night; Ben won bowling; I still am not used to the word 'tittes' being used in normal conversation.

14/3/13

A whole day spent in the mall sounds expensive, but when you just wander around staring at things, and all you actually buy is a coffee in order to rinse the WIFI, it's actually quite a cheap day out. We hadn't been in a proper American mall yet, fair enough they're just like English ones, but it's the people in them that made the day so enjoyable. Every shop you walk in someone will say 'hello' to you. The Britishness in you knows they're obviously paid to do that, but you can't help but appreciate it. We also made several friends with the guys working there (Hi Nolan, if you're reading. And the weird girl who ran away), and oddly were asked for a photo with a woman in the Army simply because we were twins. Also, we visited a Hot Topic (South Park fans, you won't be let down), and saw a group of Cos-Play kids just 'hangin' out', as you do. A nice guy in one shop also provided us with a fantastic Englishman impression, he lived "just north of London in South D-urrrbyshire", and his favourite cricket team was "Harry Potter". We never got his actual name, but his English persona was William Boyce Irvington, and he was hilarious.

Biggest one in America, apparently

15/3/13

You really come to appreciate unlimited water/ electric supplies when you don't have them. We'd been several days now without them and so thought it was time to live life a bit more luxuriously. Therefore we stayed at another KOA, washed our clothes, chilled out and relaxed (made all the more easier by the sun continuing to grace us with its outgoing presence). All this was necessary to prepare for the following day: St. Patrick's (at least, the day we're celebrating it).

16/3/13

We started out early and drove on into Charlotte looking for a parking lot we could keep the RV in. We found one place, at a shop called Save a Lot, but was advised, if we wanted to come back to a vehicle with wheels, to maybe find another neighbourhood. Which we did; without question; and quickly. We parked up again, dressed up, and got a cab into town. Taxis are horrific in the States, you can ring one and it will turn up unannounced in about an hour and a half, and that's just normal. I won't go too much into what we did because it's a loooooong story, but we spent the day bar crawling, and met a hell of a lot of people (specific shout out to Claire, Alex, Allie, Callie, Jen, Hallie and Morgan). Oh and I apologise to Ben for the 10% IPA, it sounded like a great idea at the time. Anyone who is interested in the messy details, buy me a pint and keep an evening spare.

I don't know who that woman is

17/3/13

The next day wasn't as painful as I was expecting, Ben might disagree. We got breakfast with some friends we made the night before (a Mexican restaurant, to keep it festive…), then went back to the RV to die. That evening I went with our new friends Morgan and Nicole to a bar with their friends and learnt a valuable lesson. If it wasn't for our accent, English people will never manage to get served at a bar. 

So there we have it, a whole week in one blog. I am not gonna be letting this happen again if I can help it. Below, as always, you'll find the video which, I appreciate, is now essentially becoming the Ben Jones Show. He's no good behind the camera, as you may have worked out for yourself (his finger gets more airtime than me).

Spongebombing the Capital – Road Trip from Philadelphia to Washington, D.C. via Baltimore

Thinking back to how cold, wet and windy Philly was, it seems so strange that I'm currently writing this, basking in the sun in Richmond, Virginia. I'm getting ahead of myself now, but the passage from North to South is so noticable, in many more ways than just the weather.

We departed the one-time capital of the US the following day, and continued southward. It is at this point Gareth left, leaving me and Ben to unearth America together without him. Before setting out on the Interstate we filled up gas for the first time on the trip. Regarding gas prices, Americans seem to be in a constant state of panic over them rising, but if they were to see the prices of petrol in Britain they might have a small heart attack (although that might have something more to do with the food available).

We drove for some time down towards the present-day capital, DC. On the way we passed through Baltimore, which looked like such a great place to spend the day. Really colourful town, built on the harbour. However we'd arrived too late to really make the most of it, so we continued onwards. Our destination that evening was a KOA campground (basically the Travelodge of the RVing world.; you know what you're getting, reliable, and everywhere). It was a relief to spend one night with full hook-ups, proper showers and great scenery. Even more importantly it had giant chess, which was really missed on our previous nights spent in Walmart car parks.

We woke up early and drove towards DC, parked up in the suburbs and got the Metro into the centre. DC is built around the needs of the tourist. The National History Museum, American History Museum, Air and Space Museum, several art galleries, Lincoln memorial, Washington memorial, WWII memorial... are all within 20mins walk of each other, and all free. The Lincoln memorial was the most popular of the lot, and understandably so. It was strangely inspiring and moving, particularly considering I'm not American. The Smithsonian museums were also a good walk around. The Natural History museum is very similar to the one in London, good to look around, some really interesting insects, and a giant squid. But it was the American History and the Air and Space museums which were by far the best. They were heavily biased towards the three wars, (I, II and Civil), which was great for me as I could really understand and appreciate the exhibits, unlike the Natural History museum in which I just enjoyed the pretty colours. We also visited the National Archives, but they were sadly closed by the time we got there, however it was almost worth it to see the huge door. It was rather large.

DC provided us with some unique memories. We got to see the steps where Martin Luther King made his infamous "I have a dream" speech; the Wright Brothers' plane; artifacts from the first moon landing; the first US Revolutionary War battleship; and an actual filming location from Night at the Museum 2! Also whilst out in DC we did run into a few school/ college trips, and on bumping into a group from Virginia I got to witness my first ever "Oh my GAAAAAD, are you British?", which was simply amazing. And so it began...

We left DC with no specific destination in mind. We were hoping to just find somewhere to stop for the night as we continued our venture south. By about 10pm we came across a small town by the name of Clarksburg (the name of which we only actually found out in the early hours of the morning). We parked up behind a gas station and mooched into the (Irish) bar next door. On heading inside, before even buying a beer, two guys at the bar had introduced themselves and demanded we do shots with them. Chris and Brooke became our instant best friends for the night, allowing me to experience my first ever Baby Guinness (Baileys and Guinness shooter), introducing me to the Car Bomb (Tequila bombed into a glass of Guinness, and becoming co-creators of the Sponge-Bomb (Tequila bombed into pineapple juice). The rest of the night consisted of four guys getting drunk and finding the quirks of the other one's culture amusing. We ended up going round Chris/ Brooke's flat, playing some music and getting incredibly jealous at their standard of living.

The one lesson I have learned these past couple days (after visiting the memorials, the Smithsonian museums, driving several hundred miles in a couple days) will stay with me forever, and is something I want to pass on everywhere I travel next, and throughout England when I return home. It is simple: Sponge-Bomb's are awesome; do them; do them hard.

Again, have a video:

RV nearly there yet? – Road Trip from New York to Philadelphia via Princeton

Firstly, it has become very clear that I had no idea how hard it would be to find time to do these blogs. But I'm doing my best and hopefully will try to make these shorter and more frequent (which is how you like it, right ladies?). Anyway, since the last post we've picked up the RV and driven a couple hundred miles south towards Philadelphia, but not before checking out NYC, and enjoying several places in between.

Following us picking up the RV, we drove and parked in the Liberty Harbour RV park, which was just a slab of concrete in Jersey City, but in the best location we could've found to park. It actually overlooked the Statue of Liberty itself. We got there mid-afternoon, had a nap, then when straight out to find a bar to get something to eat and have a pint. We ended up that night heading into Manhattan on the subway and having several pints in an Irish bar there. Irish bars are EVERYWHERE in NYC. In fact they're everywhere in everywhere, as far as my experience goes so far. If you went out and walked into the first place you found that sold pints, I bet 7 times out of 10 it would be an Irish bar of some sort (maybe even 14 times in 20!).

The next day we got up early to go watch the Spurs v. Arsenal game at the Spurs supporters' club in, you guessed it, an Irish bar. It was so packed you could barely move. There was probably a 50/50 split of Americans and British people in there, but that didn't mean the chants of "YID ARRRRRMY" weren't 100% participated in. Then we wandered around Manhattan for the day. Times Square, Grand Central Station, Starbucks.... It was almost too cold to properly enjoy however, the wind was so harsh it just made us want to cotch up inside. As a result we decided to move on earlier than planned and make the most of New York in the spring weather when we returned in June.

We set off the next day, taking the road around New York to head to Princeton. On the way we stopped off at Morristown, a small historic dwelling with some quirky shops and nice people. This was our first hands on experience of small town America, where we could meet some real Americans. Ironically the first person we came across was a loud mouthed cockney, screaming at his mate to get him some fags. After leaving here we rolled into a Walmart just outside of Princeton. Here we spent our first night dry camping with no hook-ups, just what we brought with us. We also experienced Walmart for the first time. If you hadn't already guessed, it is huge. It's also a great place to really see Americans go about their daily lives. They have an interesting quality in that they seem to enjoy commentating on what it is you're purchasing ("This boy's gat himself some Nuttella!"). It also becomes incredibly clear why the average weight is what it is. It is simply impossible to buy anything of a modest size. Buying a carton of juice that actually fits in our fridge proved to be an unachievable task.

Princeton itself is amazing. The amount of money pumped into the University/ town means it is one of the most pristine places I have every seen. Seriously it's like in Hot Fuzz, I think they murder hobos. This also meant it was a pretty average places to go out drinking (uni towns in the UK are very different!), but we did find a great mini-brewery/ bar to watch the Man U v. Real Madrid game. Let's not discuss the score, but the burgers were amazing!

That evening we got to do something I've always wanted to do: attend a University sports game. On Ben's insistance we saw the Princeton Tigers beat the Villanova Wildcats at lacrosse, and it was immense. No offence to Ben, or lacrosse,  but I was really surprised to see several hundred people not only turn up to watch the match, but also get REALLY passionate about it. After the game we wandered back to the RV via a(n Irish) bar, which happened to have a pub quiz ongoing. Special shout out for the winning team: Hugo-ing, going, gone. The two gents on the bar were also very helpful in suggesting places to go in Philly, where we were headed next. Writing all the vital information on a napkin for us:

We drove to Philadelphia that night, and spent the evening cosied up outside another Walmart, which were already beginning to look exactly the same. Philly itself was noticeably different to New York and towns such as Princeton. It was charmingly crafted out of and around many different cultures and ethnicities. Sadly again it was a miserable day, but that didn't stop us trudging into town to see some of the historical sites such as Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell. It felt really special to be standing where the Declaration of Independence was signed, and be in the same room, with the same furniture, that George Washington used. We also meandered down South Street where I finally got to enjoy a real diner (Johnny Rockets cheese steak sandwich, and an Oreo milkshake... amazing) and also found my favourite named Irish bar so far (Paddy Whack's), situated just across the road from the brilliantly outgoing Condom Kingdom.

That evening we got drunk.

Sorry this post was so long. Had to cut so much down. In future I'll do it more regularly, and as a result be a lot more interesting (hopefully). Have a video:

Oh and for those interested:

Cheerio England, Watto NYC - Mar 1-2

Smooth isn't the word. Well it is, but just in big, shiny capital letters. Crossing the Atlantic has never been made to look so simple. We arrived an hour early; all the bags were on the carousel before we got to it (although it may have helped that I was taken 'into the office' for 'VISA complications'); the SPAM outfit made it through as hand luggage; and I managed to watch half a series of the Thick of It. Easy. We got the first pints in at Heathrow Wetherspoons, my last cider for several months sadly had to be a Magners; poor show Heathrow.

Anyway, the flight was easy. It literally flew by (*applause). Anywhere I can get a free beer and a curry is somewhere I can enjoy. After landing and coming through VISA control I was taken away to the back office with, originally, no explanation at all. I was genuinely starting to regret the brightly coloured underwear I'd chosen to wear that day, but luckily it was all a misunderstanding, and my trousers stayed firmly on. 

Getting the subway into Manhattan had mixed results. We certainly got the subway into Manhattan, just the completely wrong bit. It turns out just because you're on the right avenue, doesn't mean you're anywhere near where you want to be. Whilst a walking tour of Times Square on a Friday night is great, having a huge backpack, a guitar, and laptop case to deal with makes it a little less enjoyable. However we finally made it to the Chelsea Star Hostel (not before a Starbucks and cheeky check-in on Facebook of course). On arrival it sadly became clear that they'd over booked and we had to be upgraded to an apartment, which was such a shame. 

That evening we braved the streets and subway once more, however this time with just a wallet and some cans of Coors Light (which, btw, is horrible). We met some of Gareth's (Gavlar's) mates in their trendy Brooklyn flat and then crashed another flat party of students and musicians. As far as my research goes, all New Yorkers have record players and enjoy the art deco theme. Whilst Ben was asked several times if he was Australian, it was noticeable what a multi-cultural city this is with only half the people we met actually being American. This was almost a disappointment on the first evening, as I'd come here to meet Americans! It is also noticeable how well travelled the Americans here are. Most had been to England, and I even met one who'd spent several weeks in Saffron Walden. I suppose I'll have to wait til I'm out of New York for my first "Oh my Gaaaad, are you British?!"

The next day was a slow, hard one to begin with. The hangovers/ jet lag taking full precedence. We had to make our way out to pick up the RV, and it turned out the address and a GPS system was not enough for our taxi driver to find the place. Luckily a quick phone call to the wife saw us straight. Again picking up the RV (or HMS Wagon-Mobile, as it has now been dubbed) was simple, although having to wait until Monday to be able to use the water system (long story) means it still has yet to quite feel like home. However this shall not be the case once we've properly decorated and really marked our territory...

I'll end it there for now. RV driving, Spurs/Arsenal, NYC and Times Square next (and don't worry I'll make it a lot shorter). Enjoy a compilation video of the experience below ;)

Oh yeah

'... have you seen Molly?'